i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
