I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
