And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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