hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
