Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
