I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
