Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
