Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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