I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
