worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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