The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just tell him i said nine months
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
