god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
