you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
