his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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