Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
