Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
