watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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