my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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