Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
