I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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