I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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