I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
