I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
