what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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