Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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