He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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