Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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