So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
