Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
