Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
