If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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