I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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