now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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