moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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