You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
