Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
