I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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