If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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