Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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