I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm always down for nudity.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
