Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
