Im at strip club and am horny
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
