oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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