So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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