I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Ladies don't puke and tell
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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