3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dicks are not precious.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
