I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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