she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm like, not good at living.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
