I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize