If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
